One is not getting younger, for sure. When still in the 30-range, getting there or slightly passed it, life seemed quite simple: you have an education of some sort, have a job, perhaps in a relationship, planning a life and kids and all that.
Now, nearing 40 - you start to question. Some call it the middle-life crisis, some call it spiritual awakening. Whatever - to me it is like - not yet!! Before it was friends' parents falling ill or very rarely a friend - now-a-days it is sad stories about someone's parent passing away, or people in your own 'gang' getting seriously ill.
When you face something such close by, or it hits you, you REALLY start thinking - many of those, who have gone through it and gotten better (thank God!) seem to change their life completely, or they themselves seem to change. They become softer, they laugh a lot more, they start doing things they want to do rather than what others expect them to do. Let the guard down somehow. They seem more sincere, somehow more honest to life.
I've thought - I don't want to wait 'til that happens to me personally, have had too many close-by's during the past year and a half. Friends, loved ones, family members.
Now is as good time as ever to be soft and child-like and do things you really want to do. Tell the people you love that you really care for them, and that they make you smile, and that they are important.
Bring a little more love to life. And even more importantly - live a little more.
Riikka, you seem to have going something I had about a year and half ago in my life and thinking...
ReplyDeleteYou also hit the important points here: life is FRAGILE, NOW, HERE and FOR LIVING. What I did in my process of change was leaving behind shame, perfection, constant performing and thinking what others find important or living for.
What I now keep seeking everyday is joy in my own way, creativity (also with less money as I left my peeking career, too), simplicity, being satisfied with what is, much time with family and the real friends.
And I have been happier. I have also felt a bit lonelier... since I realize so many others have not come to the same point in their thinking (yet?), but keep up the "same old pace".
Nice to see and feel that you are on the same track. I cheer for your steps!
Minna - thank you for your comment <3. It is a struggle, isn't it? But I am actually happy to be going through it right now, just wishing to come out of it somehow 'whole'. What makes the process a bit easier is that we are quite many going through it at the same time - and we seem to find each other here in the cyber-space :). 1 thing - I don't seem to get informed about your posts - I would love to read every one of them, as they give me comfort :).
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